 | strange must be the storm. | Jun 29, 2006 |
im 24, married to the lovely lovely shane magee. lived in beautiful ireland all my life but now live in beautiful new brunswick, canada. and for the rest, have a wee look. there ya go, i said it.
I've held on to this wee blog as long as i could, but i just dont think that multiply has caught up with all the other blogs out there.
i guess i could just set multiply up to import all my stuff from my new blog. hmmm. but why? to keep my readership? well its not like that is abounding, not that i care.
I dont want to lose all the stuff that i have up here.
ohhhh i dont know.
But there, where I have garnered up my heart, Where either I must live or bear no life; The fountain from the which my current runs Or else dries up: to be discarded thence, Or keep it as a cistern for foul toads To knot and gender in! othello 
god is nowhere
god is now here
god is nowhere
god is now here
 | scooped. | Nov 10, '07 3:22 PM
for everyone |
 time ticks by slowly now
since I am drudged
in the aftermath of truth
my body is limp and lethargic
but inside a storm rages
I cut loose my losses
(good riddance).
I look at the pieces
salvageable?
do I have the strength
oh how I wish I was scooped up
carried quickly to the finish line 
as of today it's been 2 years. it seems worrying that it can feel longer at times. I've been spending some time searching through old photos and cards.  a recent re-watching of 'my so called life' (my favourite tv show of all time) has provoked lots of memories of being a teenage and my relationship with my mum. i love the way the show captures how complex the relationship between mothers and daughters is, but the real gem are the moments when the barriers drop. i wish i had had more time with mum, more time without my teenage stuff. the time has arrived, i have my first bags up for sale. from now on i will be blogging about the 'steen ink' side of me at www.steenink.blogspot.combut worry not, i will be here as much as usual. there is a link to my etsy shop as the steen ink blog | SNOW | Oct 30, '07 7:39 AM
for everyone |
snow!! SNOW!! snooooooooooow.
pictures to come!
ive been trying to find the exact quote from a film i watched recently, the jane austen book club (a nice wee chick flick). the dialogue i am talking about occurs in a fight a couple are having , the guy says to his wife 'its not high school anymore'. to which his wife with shaking voice returns:
'it is always high school, high school never ended'.
this has stuck in my head. lately i feel that i have returned to school. to all the shit i thought i had left behind: rows with friends, falling out, not talking, taking sides, recruiting others for your 'side', feeling jealous, feeling insecure, unsure of myself. when school was bad for me i used to come straight home from school and sit in my wardrobe with a torch/flashlight and write in my diary. i actually seriously found myself looking at my wardrobe longingly the other day. but i resisted.i want to get out of highschool...i want it gone. | Maps | | Fever To Tell | | The Yeah Yeah Yeahs | | | Everything | | The Collection | | Alanis Morrisette | |
 I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes
I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go
I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.
You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here
And you’re still here
And you're still here..
(alanis morissette)
 this is gretchen. she is a black russian terrier. a giant breed. the trouble with giant breeds is that they produce giant poop. so, as you might imagine, when gretchen is not feeling great she thus produces a seemingly never ending stream of diarrhea. and this is our cross to bear today.on another note.poor gretch.   just when i was thinking it was time to start a new journal/ notebook/diary/thing. i found a blank one in one of them boxes that fills up our 'study' (box room).
i get so excited when i have a blank notebook in front of me. i guess i feel like i can be a whole new me because i have a new place to record all the 'me bits' in.
i have now found a dozen or more old notebooks dating right back to when i was 10 and in every book there it is, at the first page of every book. something about change. 'new book new life' , 'dear diary, a lot has changed' etc etc.
i had obviously intended this particular book as a notebook for me a while back. but the only marking i had made is in the inside of the front cover. obviously i was thinking of turning over a new leaf.
so here we go. lets start again.
| hope | Oct 12, '07 12:25 AM
for everyone |
 Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me.(emily Dickinson) p.s. I'm sure ive put this up here before but i just love it so much and it's appropriate for my mind set at the moment.   I'm still gradually working through the boxes that arrived from ireland.i found this...thing...that i made when i attempted to be an artist at art college. one day, we were learning how to make frames (i still would have no idea how to do it). i ended up mixing it up with the nearby junk. there were always endless amounts of wire and huge spools of yarn at hand. the beads were all from broken necklaces i had in the bottom of my jewellery drawer, and the poem is Shakespeare's 'my mistress' eyes are nothing like this sun'. 
i am steadfast and sure
i will not topple
i will stay here, upright
though bit by bit
i may be chipp'd
till little remains
protect me
polish me
but do not pretend with me 
i noticed that you didn't say no.  (our barn)
pain's proof - ella wheeler wilcox
i think that man's great capacity for pain
proves his immortal birthright.
i am sure
no merely human mind could bear the strain.
art's most ingenious breastworks fail at length,
beat by the mighty billows of the sea :
only the god-formed shores possess the strength
to stand before their onslaughts, and not flee.
the structure that we build with careful toil,
the tempest lays in ruins in an hour ;
while some grand tree that springs forth from the soil
is bended but not broken by its power.
unless our souls had root in soil devine
we could not bear earth's overwhelming strife.
the fiercest pain that racks this heart of mine,
convinces me of everlasting life.
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